Husbands who disagree, husbands who push back

At a recent family gathering at my husband's parents' house with relatives, I met my husband's brother's wife for the first time in many years.

My brother-in-law's wife and I are close in age, and we talk a lot when we meet, as I am an entrepreneur and she is self-employed and has her own store.

My husband has been telling me that he has beenYou can't do this.I have never had anyone say to me, "I'm so thankful for that," but I realized once again that I am very thankful for that.
When I started my own business, my husband said, "if you want to do something, just do itHe pushed me to do it," she said. But I've been listening to what's going on around me, and I've been hearing from my husband.What if it doesn't work? Will it really work? What if I neglect my family?"Many people seem to be opposed to the idea and find it difficult to do so.

And.

My brother-in-law also started from scratch and runs his own company.I'm going to do some business on my own," he said. "I'm going to eat out of my own arm."They may not be resistant to the idea of

I thought to myself, "Come to think of it, since my husband and I got married, I've never been opposed to anything I've wanted to do." So I came home and told my husband, "I've never been opposed to anything you've wanted to do.

They're both brothers who don't disagree with what their wives are doing, but that's because they're notI wonder if he can push his wife because of his own success in starting his own business?"

When I asked her, her husband responded in this way.

No, it's not because I have a success story that I can push your wife.
from the beginningIf you want to do it, do it.I think that the result is that they are successful because of the idea of "the best way to make a living".
It's like the egg comes first or the chicken comes first.
I've always been a "I can't do it because it's a 00I didn't think much of it as "I want to do it, so I will do it.I've been acting like "I'm not a good person.
I think it is more disconcerting for me to hold back and say, "I really want to do it, but I won't do it.
I think you can do whatever you want.
Also, whatever you do."I'm okay with a little bit of that. I can handle it.I know that "I'm not the only one who wants to do something," and even if it doesn't work out, as long as I'm making money, there's no problem, so I think if she wants to do something, she should be free to do it.

And. I see...

The reason husbands don't object to what their wives (and wives to their husbands) want to do is more than experience, it's the way they think in the first place.It's really important for a couple to have similar values.I thought, "I'm not going to be able to do this.

Couple's values on games

And the other day, I tweeted this without a second thought...

My husband wanted our daughters to play Dracula, so he told them, "You can play it anytime you want, you can play it as much as you want," and when he came home, he would ask, "Have you played Dracula? When they came home, I would ask them if they had played Dracula, and I would show them. I try to show them how fun it is, but they never seem to show any interest.

— Mina-Porsche came to our house (@Mina_Panamera) August 26, 2022

We received the following comments

I think they are a wonderful couple from this episode☺.
Usually, when a father says something like that, the mother would complain about what she would do if he started playing games all the time.
I thought it was very important that both Mina-san and Dracula understood how wonderful Dracula was, and that their values matched each other.

also hereConsistency of values between husband and wifeSo that's what we talked about.

I am a video game enthusiast, but my parents were very strict, so I was not able to play many games as a child. I was more of an honor student type of kid who studied hard and came home straight from school. (I don't know if I would call myself an honor student...)

However, perhaps as a reaction to this, after I became a working adult and started living alone, I began to feel that I had to take a break from my work and start living on my own.I bought various video game consoles like PlayStation and Nintendo DS, andI spent many nights playing role-playing games like Resident Evil, Dracula, Samurai Warriors, Sengoku Warriors, Metal Gear Solid, Onimusha, and so on (recoil is scary...w).

Nevertheless.Through Mikuni Warriors and Sengoku Warriors, I developed an interest in history and began reading books on the Legend of the Three Kingdoms and Ryotaro Shiba.So, for me, the game was a good opportunity to expand my world of interests.

So, to the children, we say, "You can play the game if you want to, and there are quite a few positive aspects to playing the game.I think "I'm not a game player, I'm a creator. (If I wanted, I would be on the side of making games, not the side of playing them...)

Slightly off topic, but when I mentioned the couple's views on the Twitter game, my husband had this to say.

I agree. Before getting married, you should have some idea of each other's values, so if you don't agree, there is no need to continue dating or think that you have to get married for the sake of public opinion.
If you are comfortable and enjoy yourself, get married, if not, don't get married.
I think it's better to value your own values and make a decision.
For example, when we were dating, I said, "My girlfriend, who I'm thinking of marrying, told me not to buy any more cars because I need to save up.I sometimes see tweets from car enthusiasts who say, "I'm a car guy..."...
Don't break there.You should let them know exactly how important the car is to you.And if they don't understand that, I don't think they should be forced to get married.
I would like to live in a way that values my own way of thinking and values, rather than being afraid of living outside the norm.

There are people who have different values as a couple, but live their lives in a good relationship while acknowledging their differences, and there are people who value the importance of having compatible fundamental values, and I believe there are many different forms of couples.

I thought again that it would be nice if couples could go through life together, always thinking about what is comfortable and best for them, without being bound by the world's norms.